If Only
by ANgel GIrl232
Summary: Peyton never told Lucas she loved him at the end of Nothing Left To Say But Goodbye. Six years later she's living in New York and regretting that decision. What happens when she's gets in an accident that lets her see a glimpse of what could have been?
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Peyton never told Lucas she loved at the end of the episode Nothing Left to Say But Goodbye. Six years later she's living in New York and regretting that decision. What happens when she's involved in an accident that lets her see a glimpse of what could have been? Rewritten

Disclaimer: I don't own the show One Tree Hill or its characters.

* * *

Peyton stood in her bedroom as she slowly walked closer to the newly repaired window; looking out of it. She had just got back from seeing Derek off and had yet to change out of the dress she wore to the banquet. The sound of clapping startled her out of thoughts and she turned around to meet Lucas. 

_Not that you're the one  
Not to say I'm right  
Not to say today  
And not to say a thing tonight _

"Now this is more like it" he said smiling as he observed the once again red bedroom. His jacket was long gone and the tie around his neck was loosened and undone. "Listen, I just wanted to say I'm sorry that we didn't get to spend more time together tonight."

_But suffice it to say  
We're leaving things unsaid  
We sing ourselves to sleep  
Watching the day lie down instead _

She wrapped her arms around herself. "How did it go with Brooke?" Peyton hoped she wouldn't dread the answer.

"I realized tonight that it's over between me and Brooke… and she realized it too" he replied. He and the bubbly brunette weren't meant to be and after Whitey's speech he saw that.

_And we are leaving some things unsaid  
And we are breathing deeper instead _

Softly she nodded, there it was- the confirmation she needed, it was time to tell him the truth despite the consequences that could occur from it; like him not feeling the same way. Bracing herself she spoke. "I love you Lucas."

Lucas smirked a little. "I love you too Peyton. You know we've been through so much together."

_We're both pretty sure  
Neither one can tell  
We seem difficult  
What we got is hard as hell _

She laughed softly and shook her head. He didn't understand; she needed to correct him. Opening her mouth words she had no intention of saying spilled out. "I'm sorry… that was pretty random wasn't it?" What happen to telling him the truth?

"No I understand… it's fine" staring at her curiously he watched as tears filled her green eyes. "Peyton are you okay" he asked concerned as he took a step closer to her.

_A hundred thousand words  
Could not quite explain  
So I walk you to your car  
And we can talk it out in the rain _

"Yeah I'm fine Luke" she sniffled wiping a tear away. "_Tell him you're in love with him tell him! _"It's just that Derek left tonight… but I'm okay really" she insisted telling him the partial truth.

"I'm sorry Peyt."

"He'll be back…someday" she said slipping into the hug he offered. Her petite frame fit his and even though she was conflicted she relaxed into it, savoring the moment.

Nodding, he slowly pulled away. "You're right. And you know I'm here for you?"

_And we are leaving some things unsaid  
And we are breathing deeper instead  
And we are leaving some things unsaid _

Peyton snorted and small smile formed on her lips. "Yes I know, don't worry I'm not going forget anytime soon. It's what you do."

"Are you going to be okay?"

_I can sing myself to sleep  
No more _

"_Yes_" she declared exasperated, throwing on a fake smile. "I'm good now, so…you can go can to the River Court and play basket ball I know you want to." It was his last game tomorrow and she pretty sure he was too excited about it to sleep.

"Hey who said I was going to play basket ball" he inquired as he folded his arms across his chest. "For your information I'm going home."

Raising an eye brow Peyton just stared at him not believing the bull faced lie for a second.

"Okay so I'm going home to change and then I'm going to the River Court" he murmured sheepishly. She knew him so well.

"That's what I thought" she remarked impishly.

"Well I better get going Blondie, try and get some sleep" turning around he slowly walked toward the door glancing back at her. "If you need me you know where to find me."

_"This is it, I'm really going to let him leave without telling him how I feel"_ she thought. What happening to take risks? Peyton thought back to earlier today when she asked Lucas to the banquet. _"It didn't work out."_ Should she try again? "Lucas?"

He halted and looked back at her. "Yeah Peyton?"

"Thank you" she whispered. _"I guess I am."_

"For what" he asked confused.

"Everything" was all she said.

_Not that you're the one  
Not to say I'm right  
Not to say today  
And not to say a thing tonight _

Giving her once last smile he left and she stood staring at the empty space for a moment afterwards. She had blown it; the opportunity was there a she let it slip through her fingers all because she was scared. So much for feel the fear and do it any way. Not telling him was a huge mistake and she was positive that she would never get the nerve to attempt this again. _"You're going to regret this for the rest of you life Peyton"_ her mind chanted and she didn't doubt it.

**_

* * *

_**

**_Six years later _**

Peyton sat at the desk in her New York office with her legs crossed and pen in hand. She alternated between papers and the computer. For a while now she had been working in the art department at a prestigious magazine; experiences from Thud had definitely paid off. Life was good, _well _almost good. She was still reeling from the big news; Brooke was getting married.

It wasn't as if she wasn't happy for her best friend; being made maid of honor she was more than ecstatic, but it didn't stop her from being a little bit jealous. Brooke had a love life and was getting ready to take that next big step. The one that involved kids and a white picket fence. Peyton couldn't help but want that for herself. It was just too bad she only saw one person for that role as husband and father. Unfortunately he just so happened to be taken.

Lucas had been dating Lindsey Strauss; his editor for years now and it was only matter of time before he'd popped the question and get married just like Brooke was. The thought made her sick and she was dreading it. However she had no one to blame but herself. All those chances; he was there, he was single and all she had to do was tell him. Now it was way too late; if only- nah it wouldn't do her any good to dwell on that.

"Having fun?"

Peyton looked up from her to see her friend and co worker Allison leaning against the door with a mischievous grin on her face. She didn't like that look one bit. "I'm going to pretend that you just didn't ask me that" she retorted as she sunk down into her chair. Her work alcoholic tendency left her exhausted and Allison knew that.

Smirking amused she walked into the office a cappuccino from Starbucks in hand. She positioned herself in the seat in front of Peyton's desk. "Here you could use a pick me up."

Taking a sip she frowned as the warm liquid ran down her throat. "Are you trying to say that I look bad?"

"No, I'm saying you look horrible and for the record that's worse than bad, just so you know" she teased pushing the blonde's button.

Not impressed Peyton scowled as she searched through her purse for her compact. Opening it she saw that her hair was still intact and makeup was good, the circles under eyes were another story. "Crap" she mumbled bitterly.

Tapping her nails on the arm rest, Allison rolled her eyes. "It could be worse" she pointed out.

"Do tell Allison" she demanded as she attempted to cover up the dark circles with more makeup. How could she have missed this?

"You could have a whole bunch of wrinkles" she joked.

"That's real nice" she muttered sarcastically. She was not in a joking mood today.

Sighing exasperated, Allison leaned back in the chair. "What's up with you Girly?"

Peyton shook her head. "I have this deadline and you know I'm suppose to be going to Tree Hill for Brooke's engagement party in few days and I'm-"

"Stop right there" she interrupted. "Let me take a wild a guess; this is about Lucas." Some how it all ways came back to him.

"No" she insisted a little too adamantly. "It's partially about him, so there." Peyton stuck her tongue out.

"Yeah because that just so much better" she spat out mockingly. Allison loved Peyton but the girl was so stubborn and just so happen to have denial as a friend. "He's still in the equation though."

Folding her arms she tilted her head back a little. "Yeah, yeah" she mumbled curtly.

"I'm going to take another guess and say that it's more about that saying always a bridesmaid never a bride."

"I'm the maid of honor thank you very much" she picked up the papers and neatly stacked them placing them back on the desk. "I guess… I'm tired of being alone, you know all I have is this job and it's great but it wasn't even my first choice, music was. My career just isn't enough any more."

Placing her elbows on the desk Allison allowed her hands to cup her face. "You know what this means don't you? You need to date."

Peyton opened her mouth to disagree.

She put a hand up shushing her. "I'm going to stop your mini rant right there. Look I know you're in love with Lucas but it's time to move on and stop comparing every guy you go on a date with to him. I'm saying it's going to be easy even so you have to try." Satisfied that Peyton wasn't trying to dispute her she continued. "You said you were tired of being alone, you said that your career wasn't enough any more well _prove_ it" she demanded firmly. All she wanted was for her friend to be happy.

Dejected she ran her hands through her hair. "I just wish sometimes that I would have told him how I felt. Who knows what my life would be like?"

"Everybody has regrets Peyton" she said sympathetically. "There's nothing can do about that now… so enough stalling. Are you going to _try_ to move on?"

Groaning she nodded mumbling a yes.

"What was that I didn't hear you" she asked holding her ear.

"I said yes I'm ready to move on okay" she declared her eyes narrowed. Her friend was pushing it with whole I can't hear thing.

"Good" she replied grinning. "That's really good because you have a date…" she glanced at the clock. "In about five hours, good luck."

"What" she exclaimed incredulously as Allison ran out the room. She knew now there was reason she hadn't like that look.

* * *

Peyton collected her things, getting ready to close up the office and go home. She glanced at the dress Allison had left her in disdain, not sure if this was a good idea. Past relationships would say it wasn't and truthfully her heart wasn't in it no matter what she had said. Unfortunately there was no way she could in good conscience stand up her friend's friend. She'd tough it out; _try_ after all was the key word here. 

"Hey Peyton I'm getting ready to head out" a woman said after tapping on the open door.

Peyton looked in the direction of the voice. "Okay, thanks again Jen for picking up Brooke's gift for me I just didn't have the time" she replied gesturing to the medium size square box that was wrapped in white wrapping paper and tied by a creamed colored ribbon.

"I offered didn't I? So don't worry about it" her eye caught the dress and she smirked. "Big date tonight Peyton?"

She rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't necessarily call it a big date since I don't know the guy and had no choice in deciding whether I wanted to go or not."

"Allison?"

"Yes" came the annoyed reply.

"Well you never know you could have a good time and he can't be bad as David."

She involuntarily flinched at the name, David; as hot as he was had been tremendously clingy and oh so annoying. "Ugh I hope not" she remarked.

"Try not to worry to much. Have fun oh just so you I'm going to want details." Jen couldn't help but be interested in Peyton's being the gossiper that she was.

"You and everyone else" she muttered unenthusiastically.

"Bye Peyton" she waved goodbye as Jen left.

Once again alone, she slid her purse on her shoulders, grabbing the work she would attend to at home and the dress. Peyton placed Brooke's present under her arm and wore a shopping bag on her wrist; it contained a purse and shoes that Allison had also dropped off.

Leaving the office and then the locking door she made her way to the elevator. Peyton berated herself for not heading home sooner. She knew she couldn't afford to be late; pressing the button on the elevator she tapped her foot, as she waiting for the doors to open. A few minutes or so later she gave up and made her to the stairs wondering if fate was against this date. It looked that way seeing as how earlier, when she was first getting ready to leave she had suddenly felt an overwhelming need to stay and now the stupid elevator wasn't working.

Her heels clicked loudly as she walked down them and holding on the railing proved to be difficult with all the things in her arms. When she reached the door that led to the entrance she realized she had left her cell phone on her desk after calling a taxi. "Out all the days why did I choose today to wear heels" she wondered peeved about the fact that she had to go back up.

Swearing she sauntered up the steps but didn't get too far when Brooke's present for the engagement party started to slip from under her arm. In a attempt to catch it, one foot went down a step the wrong way causing the heel from her shoe to snap clean off. Everything from the present to the dress fell from her grasp. Letting out a muffled shriek she was tossed down the stairs before she could even grab the railing. Her body hit the floor with a sickening thud; her head took the brunt of the fall.

Peyton's vision blurred and blood poured from the wound. It wasn't long before she surrendered to the pool of darkness.

* * *

Author's Note: The song at beginning was Unsaid by the Fray. Please let me know if you like the changes; also feel free to pm me if you have and any ideas for the story. 


	2. Chapter 2

Peyton" a voice called but it seemed so far away. Her head throbbed continuously as she tried to make out who was calling her. Groaning softly, she struggled to open her eyes. "Peyt" the voice called once again. Her vision was blurred slightly when she first opened her eyes but soon became clear, it was _him_.

"Lucas" Peyton murmured looking into his crystal blue eyes; she was confused at to why he was here in New York. He was supposed to be back in Tree Hill.

"Baby I'm here" he cooed cradling her in his arms and stroking her head with his free hand. "Why didn't you ask me to get that box off the shelf"?

She looked at him puzzled. What was he talking about and why had he called her baby? While still in his arms Peyton glanced around the room. She was in a huge walk in closet. There seemed to a box with its contents spilled on the floor, and a step stool in front of a very tall shelf.

Lucas helped her up as she fought the dizzy spells. "What are you talking about? And what happened" she asked in a small voice leaning against him.

He stroked her cheek, he was really concerned, she didn't remember falling off the step stool or hitting her head. "I think you have a concussion".

Peyton rubbed her aching head trying to focus. Where was she and why was Lucas touching her like that when had girlfriend?

He led her out of the bedroom closet and down stairs into the kitchen with his arm around her shoulder the whole time. "Here drink this" he demanded handing her a glass of water and making her sit down in a chair. "I'm going to call the doctor".

Peyton nodded while drinking the water. If she hadn't been so disoriented she would have demanded that he tell her what the hell was going on and where she was she at. She watched him as he talked on phone. It was weird she hadn't seen him in months, they had both been so busy with work, and she didn't like to visit him when Dana was around. She despised the girl so much at least with his other girlfriends she like them a little.

The doorbell rang causing her to jump. Lucas went to answer it so she turned her attention to the photo album on the table. She opened the album, staring at some old pictures she recognized. Turning the page she saw a picture of them at their high school graduation, they were kissing. "That didn't happen" she whispered perplexed. Flicking the pages way ahead she gasped when saw a wedding picture of them.

Peyton then looked at her left hand; there was a wedding ring on it, her eyes widened. "OMG" she screamed covering her mouth with her other hand. "What is going on"? She asked franticly to no one. Suddenly she heard voices coming from living room that made her really curious. She needed answers.

"Did you guys have fun" she heard Lucas asked someone.

Peyton entered the living room and she saw Lucas bending down to greet a little boy and girl who both were two and half years old. She stared at the children both were blonde and had the same blue eyes as Lucas.

"Daddy we had lots of fun" the little girl answered as her twin brother nodded in agreement.

"Uncle Nathan and Aunt Haley to us to the..." He paused trying to remember the name of the place they went. "The place with all the animals" he explained.

"You mean the zoo"? Lucas asked laughing.

"Yeah the...zoo"! The little boy declared

"Thank you guys for watching the kids" Lucas said to Nathan and Haley as he stood up.

"No problem man, it was James' idea to go to the zoo" Nathan said patting his son's head.

"Oh and don't worry I made sure Nathan here didn't spoil the kids appetites". Haley stated.

Peyton was in shock, she was also grateful that they hadn't seen her standing there. Where was she the twilight zone?

"Mommy" The girl exclaimed noticing her mother. Everyone around turned to face Peyton. "We went to the zoo today! It was really fun and we had ice cream when Aunt Haley went to the souvenir place and Uncle Nathan told us not to tell... anyone. Oops" she said covering her mouth with her hand, when she realized what she had done.

Peyton mouth was wide open in shock and the dizziness had come back full force, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she hit the floor, she had fainted.

_Peyton's Dream_

She awoke some what to see a familiar face, she frowned. "I thought got rid of you... along time ago" she said to her subconscious.

"Nope, I've just been on vacation and right now I'm more of guide than your subconscious".

Peyton raised an eyebrow. "A guide"?

"Yep...I'm here to explain why you're here and you know guide you! "Duh"!

Peyton was relieved. "Good because one minute I'm walking up the stairs then the heel of my shoe breaks and let me tell you those shoes cost me a fortune, and then the next thing I know I'm falling down the stairs and I hit my head". She paused for a moment absorbing what she had said. "OMG ...I'm not dead am I because I can't be dead". She yelled hysterically.

"Jeez" Peyton's subconscious or guide yelled rubbing her ear. "Six years sure made you neurotic! Sighing she started to talk again. "No, you're not dead"!

"How"? "What happened and what's going on"?

"Would you please stop interrupting me" she fumed. "It's because your not in the reality where you fell down the stairs...your wish was granted".

"What wish"? Peyton asked.

"It was something along these lines. _I just wish sometimes...that I would of told Lucas that I was in love with him. Who knows what my life would probably be like. _That was your wish and in this reality you told Lucas you were in love with him the night of the banquet. After the Ravens' won the State Championship he told you; it was you that he wanted standing next to him when all his dreams came true. Six years later- you two are married and, you have twins, the little boy and girl you saw".

Peyton wrapped herself in a hug, her emotions getting the better of her. "I...know she called me mommy and Lucas daddy" Peyton whispered. She shook her head violently, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I can't stay here...I want to go back home"!

Peyton's guide placed her hands on her hips furiously. "Well if you aren't the most wish washy person I ever met! You made the wish, why do you want go back? You're just going to do the same thing you've been doing - living a lie. Peyton you're _Never_ going to tell Lucas how you feel and you know what he's going move on for real one day! He's going to get married, and have kids. A real family, now tell me how are you going to fit in that picture Peyton"?!

"SHUT UP"! Peyton demanded beyond angry.

She laughed at Peyton cynically. "What... I'm just stating the facts"! Then she began pacing. You have one chance to see what could have been- I mean... you wouldn't want to regret, this six years from now would we? The cards lay in your hands- take your pick"!

* * *

A/N: Hey guys, hope you like this chapter. Any ways I need your help with the twins' names. I'm so stumped and I need a first and middle. I would be so grateful and the two names I like the most I'll pick. 


	3. Chapter 3

Peyton roughly ran her hands through her hair only to have strands of it get caught in her wedding ring. She studied the ring, smiling softly when she recognized it as her mother's. A thought suddenly occurred, did really want to leave and add this to her list of regret? It was no plan and simple. Not telling Lucas she loved him was eating her up inside and one of the main reasons to pack her bags and moved to New York- calling everyone in Tree Hill once in a while and visiting during the holidays.

The first reason being that she didn't have to watch him date, the second- you know the saying out of sight out mind well that worked some days. Peyton plopped down on the empty couch and turned her attention to her guide who was sitting on the arm of a chair tapping an imaginary wristwatch. She frowned, un amused, it was decision time. She closed her eyes taking a deep breath before approaching the woman. "I'll... stay" she whispered meekly.

Peyton's guide expression was no longer angry, but surprisingly happy. She shifted her body and sat correctly in the chair. "Finally, a decision you won't regret". She put her hands to the side of face in shock. "That's a first in six years"! She exclaimed, teasing Peyton.

"Hey"! Peyton yelled offended, she folded her arms. "They are a lot of things I don't regret"!

"Man, you must lie a lot...for a second there I almost believe you". Smirking she got up from the chair to get ready to send Peyton back to the alternate universe. "Peyton don't take this for granted and learn your lesson".

"What lesson"?

"You'll see soon... enough and I'll be here to help".

Peyton nodded and a question popped into head. "What...are their names" she nervously.

She furrowed her brow in confusion, a few seconds later she realized what Peyton was talking about. "Oh, your kids"?

"Yeah"!

"Ian Keith and Anna Elizabeth".

Peyton smiled, she loved the names. "So" she said looking around the empty living room. "How do I get out of here"?

She touched Peyton's shoulder. "Wake up" she commanded.

Peyton slowly opened her eyes and groaned. Her head was still hurting and fainting had only made it a lot worse. She realized someone had moved her from the floor to the couch.

"Does anything hurt" someone asked.

She rolled her eyes, she knew that voice. "No, Nathan I'm groaning in pain for the fun it! Some things never changed, even in an alternate universe" she thought. "Where is everyone" she asked noticing her and Nathan were the only ones in the living room.

He helped her sit up. "Haley took the kids upstairs and Lucas went to call the doctor again. Do you remember what happened"?

She sat there for a minute trying to remember what everyone was saying before she fainted from the shock and dizziness. "Yeah... the kids were telling Lucas about the zoo and Anna she said something about you getting them ice cream when Haley wasn't around and..."she trailed off trying to remember once again. "Oh, she said you told them not to tell anybody"!

Nathan looked at her nervously she had remembered. Peyton had been very strict on the whole no sweets _or_ caffeine before dinner after the ice coffee incident he had caused. But Haley had gone to buy souvenirs and Anna had begged, sticking out her bottom lip and tears filling up in her little blue eyes. Yes he was weak and had given in. "I don't know what your talking about...that didn't happen".

"Liar" she thought, Peyton started to glare at him and he was looking more nervous by the minute.

"Uh... why don't I go get Lucas" and with that he rushed out the living room and into the den. He returned a few minutes later with an almost frantic Lucas.

"Hey" he said kneeling beside her and looking into her green eyes. "Are you alright"?

She smiled at him, loving the way he was looking at her. Peyton couldn't help herself so she ran her fingers through the back of his hair. "I'm fine...I just got dizzy earlier and right now my head is a little sore. But I'll take an aspirin".

He started to object but she put her finger to his lips. "I'm okay... I promise".

Lucas kissed her forehead still worried. She had hit her head twice in one day but she seemed better than she was after she had fallen off the step stool. Maybe she didn't have a concussion after all. "My mom and Caitlin are coming over for dinner, you still up for that"?

"Yeah, Nathan and Haley can stay for dinner too, stop worrying".

He cupped her face. "I can't help it...you scared me today. I love you Peyt".

She managed to smile even though her heart was breaking and melting at the same time. "I love you too Lucas" she hugged him. "Why didn't I tell him before" she asked herself.

"You guys that's so sweet" They heard someone sniffled. They turned their heads and saw Haley standing next to Nathan crying into a Kleenex.

Peyton looked at Haley's slightly bulged stomach and remembered Haley had called her four months ago announcing she was pregnant. "Hormones" she thought shaking her head.

She got up from the couch and hugged Haley trying keep from laughing. "I going to check on the kids and make sure I didn't traumatize them". She took her time walking up the stairs and following the kids' voices to find the room they where in. She spotted James first he was walking out of what appeared to be the playroom.

"James" she exclaimed hugging the six year old boy. "You've gotten so big"!

"Aunt Peyton" he whined try to free himself from the hug- he wasn't the hugging type apparently. "You always say that"!

"Sorry kid but I can't help it"! She let him go and he headed down the stairs. She looked into the room and saw her and Luke's children playing. They were the perfect combination of her and Lucas. She entered the room nervously. "What are guys doing"?

"Mommy"! They both exclaimed running over to her and hugging her legs. When they let go she bended down to their level, Ian was the first to speak.

"Mommy are you feeling better now" the little boy asked.

She looked at her son; he looked so much like Lucas when he was worried. "I'm feeling much better Ian" she played with his hair.

"We're glad you're feeling better Mommy" Anna declared.

Peyton hugged both of her children and gave them a kiss on their foreheads. "Let's go downstairs".

They enter the living room she holding the twins' hands. She saw Lucas asking Nathan and Haley what they wanted for dinner.

"Do you guys want pizza"?

"Pizza" Peyton asked interrupting them. "Why don't I just cook something" she said figuring that she could put all the cooking lessons she had taken with Lindsay to good use. Peyton looked at them; they were looking at her like she had two heads.

"Peyton how hard did you hit your head" Nathan asked laughing he stopped when Haley slapped him on the arm.

"Excuse me" she asked offended, with her hands on hips.

"Peyton, do you remember our senior year of high school when you made me chocolate cookies"? Lucas asked.

"Vaguely" she said lying; she didn't know what he was talking about.

"You used a handful of salt in the cookies, thinking it was dash".

Peyton didn't know how to respond to this and suddenly out of now where she had an answer. "You said that was the best cookie you ever had"!

He moved closer to her smirking coyly. "Well I was eating the cookie dough off you at the time"!

"Hey" Haley shouted at Lucas. "There are children in the room"!

The adults looked at the kids; they had turned on the TV and were watching it.

"I'm going prove you guys wrong" and with that Peyton stomped off to the kitchen.

"So who wants to take bets" Nathan asked Lucas and Haley.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for helping me pick out names and reviewing. Please let know what you liked most about this chapter. Oh, if you didn't figure it out Caitlin is Luke's sister. Also Peyton's guide helped her out with the cookie question. 


	4. Chapter 4

Lucas and Haley both glared at Nathan and Haley gave him another slap on the back of his head.

"Ow" he groaned rubbing the sore spot, he glared back. "Come on...you guys know you were thinking the same thing. Now who's in"?

Peyton stood pulled pot and pans out of the cabinets. "The nerve of them" she thought bitterly as she placed what she needed on the kitchen's island. Peyton opened the cook book, flicking the pages to find a simple Spaghetti recipe. She gathered the ingredients, stopping when she heard a little voice.

"Mommy...what are you doing" Anna asked curious at why her mother was cooking when her daddy always did that".

Peyton picked up her daughter and place her on the stool next to the island. "I'm cooking".

"You're silly mommy...you can't cook"! Anna giggled at the thought of mother cooking , remembering the time she had burnt popcorn.

Peyton shook her head" not her too" she thought. "Well I can't cook, but I can try...how about that"?

Anna nodded as her curly blonde hair bounced.

"So you want to pick the desert"? The little girl's eyes lit up.

"Can I pick" Ian asked walking into the kitchen.

Nathan placed everyone's money in the middle of the coffee table he watched as Lucas shook his head. He got from the chair and slapped him on the back. "Don't worry bro...Peyton won't find out".

"You guys are horrible" Haley shouted as she reached for a pillow for her back.

Nathan rolled his eyes at his wife. "This is coming from the woman who threw in twenty dollars".

Haley scowled, and Nathan chuckled at the thought of rendering her speechless.

"Aunt Peyton is going to find out" James told the adults his eyes still on the television.

"Why do say that" Nathan asked raising an eyebrow at his son.

"Ian and Anna aren't here any more, there probably in the kitchen so they're going to tell her".

The adults glanced at each other James was right and if the twins told her things could get ugly.

Peyton's eyes widened as she watched her children argue back and forth. How was she going to get out of this one?

"Mommy said I could pick the desert"! Anna screamed, the girl sure had a set of lungs.

"Well I want to pick too"! He shouted back.

"You're not going too"!

Peyton used her fingers to whistle. "Hey, there will be non of that. If you can't pick a desert together, then there won't be one. Got it" she yelled, surprised she had said that, before she hadn't known what to do.

"Got it" They said in unison.

Peyton spent the remaindering of the hour cooking, as Anna and Ian watched. She was just about finished when the doorbell rang and Anna took off for it.

"I'll get it" she yelled running toward until Lucas scooped her up in his arms.

"How about I get that with you"?

"Daddy" she whined. "I had it under control". Anna could be very independent at times

He laughed and kissed her forehead. "I'm sure you did". Lucas opened door and found Brooke with his mother and sister.

"Hey Luke, I hope you don't mind...I kind of tagged along with your mom and Caitlin".

"Brooke, why are you asking? You do it all the time".

She slapped him on the arm. "Funny" she said hello to Anna and walked into the house, leaving Lucas to greet his mother and sister.

Peyton took the chocolate chip cookies out of the oven letting them cool. After setting the table she headed back to living room.

"P. Scott, tell me that's not an apron you're wearing".

"No it's a new dress I bought" Peyton said sarcastically as gave her friend a hug.

"Well you always did have weird taste" Brooke replied.

"Yeah sure" Peyton then greeted Karen and Caitlin and they all sat down at dinner. The adults all except Peyton had been hesitant but surprisingly the kids had dug in first. When they did taste the food they were very shocked, it was actually really good.

When dinner and desert was over everyone left and Peyton cleaned up the kitchen while Lucas put the kids to bed.

"You surprised me tonight".

She dropped the dish towel she was holding and turned to Lucas. "So am I really that bad of cook"?

He moved closer to her sliding his arms around her waist. "Well as of today...you can cook".

"I'm guessing the cookies weren't too salty then"?

He smirked at her. "They were... the best". Lucas kissed gently on the lips.

Peyton returned kissed, the only times her and Lucas had kissed during the past six years had been New Years. She pulled away instantly seeing the confused look on his face. "Sorry I don't kiss anyone who makes bets on my cooking skills" she said remembering what the twins had accidentally told her when she was cooking.

He held his head down, knowing he had been caught. "Hey I didn't bet against you".

"Sorry you're still in the doghouse"!

Lucas laughed, "Fine, the kids want us to read them a bedtime story".

"Okay then, I'm almost finished so I'll meet you up there in a second".

Lucas kissed her forehead and left the kitchen.

Peyton stood there in the empty kitchen. A overwhelming feeling of sadness and regret consuming her. Frowning she wrapped her in hug. "Don't get too attached Peyton" she whispered to herself.


	5. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry I know it been awhile since I've updated. This was hard chapter for me ( writer's block didn't help) and I was irritated when psycho Derek name turned out to be Ian out all the boy names in the world, it was a devastating coincidence well for me any way. I just can't help but get peeved over the smallest things. Weird, well that's just me. I think I've rambled long enough. Please review. Okay for those of you who read Breakaway I'll try to update soon I'm just really stumped right now so feel to pm ideas of what you want to happen. Please excuse any errors I made I was rushing to get this chapter since I made you guys wait so long!

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Peyton ran over to an unconscious Ian, her tears wracking her body as she kneeled next to him. "This can't be happening" she thought as she stroked her little boy's blond hair. She covered her mouth with her free hand as she tremble, there was so much blood. The driver had gotten car, immediately calling 911 as she apologized profusely. But for Peyton the apology went on dear ears, she was busy focusing on Ian and not the irresponsible woman who had been zooming down the street despite the roads signs while talking on her cell phone. 

Brooke made her way next to Peyton while a stunned Haley tended to Anna who was completely horrified. Ian's accident was hitting her too close home, ash recalled being hit by a car in high school and almost losing James.

"M…mommy" Ian whispered softly as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

"Baby mommy's here, I'm hear" she cried, holding his hand. Why did this have to happen? He was just a little boy. This wasn't right, not right at all.

"My….head….hurts" said slowly taking breaths after each word.

"Ian I know, but it's going to okay. I promise" she gently kissed his cheek.

The siren coming from the ambulance drowned out Peyton's voice and Ian closed his eyes.

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Peyton sat in the waiting room of hospital. Haley had taken Anna to Karen's much to her dismay and Brooke was trying to contact Lucas. She buried her face in hands. A overwhelming feeling of guilt consumed her, she shouldn't have blown up that stupid ball no matter how much they begged or pleaded. If anything happened to Ian she wouldn't be able to forgive herself. No she wouldn't think like that he would fine, Peyton tried to convince herself but was failing miserably. 

"Hey"… Brooke said softly, sitting in the chair next to hers. "How you holding up"?

"How does it look" she snapped some what bitterly. She wiped at tear from her eye as she berated herself for snapping at her. "Brooke I'm sorry".

"It's okay, I understand" she hugged Peyton. "You would think after all times we've spend in the hospital we'd know what to say,

"Yeah you would" she sniffled her voice cracking. "I'm just so scared Brooke".

"Hey" she wrapped her around Peyton once again. "He's a strong little boy, he be alright" she trying to convince herself but she wasn't so sure.

"Peyton"!

Her head snapped up and spotted Lucas. Without a second thought she rushed into his arms burying her head in the crook of his neck. She held on to him for dear life. Peyton pulled back a little her green eyes met his blue ones. "The doctor hasn't come out yet" she whispered breaking their eye contact.

Lucas cupped the side of cheek pulling her face towards him. "Hey, hey he's going be okay" he stated firmly trying to assure his self and her.

"Mr. and Mrs. Scott I presume" the middle aged doctor said as he approached them.

"Yeah that's us" Lucas said taking a deep breathe before a question. "How is our son"?

"He's out surgery and we moved him into recovery, the next twenty four hours are critical. But what we're most concerned about is the severity of his head injury. We're running tests right now but I need you to prepare for the possibility that your son maybe brain dead".

Peyton eyes widened and she visibly paled, while Brooke seeing her distressed state placed a hand on shoulder. "B..ut he was talking to me before the ambulance came that has to be a good sign" her lip trembled and tear once again filled her eyes.

"I'm afraid not by much".

"What the chances of him being brain dead"? Lucas spoke while Peyton struggled to gain her composure.

"From what I've seen so far I would say and fifty percent chance that he's brain dead".

Peyton stared into space as the voices of Lucas and the doctor faded out along with the Brooke who was whispering comforting words to her. There stood nothing but an empty hospital. "What the-" she shook at the sight of guide yet again. She groaned.

"Nice to see you too Peyton" she mused, pulling out black finger nail polish and proceeding to paint her nails.

"I don't have time for this" she cried exasperated. "Wait how did I get here I know I'm not sleeping so did I faint again"?

"Huh" she the guide asked lifted her head up for her task. "Oh nah, fainting is so over done, to everyone else you're in some sort of state of shock" she said nonchalantly. "Any way we need to talk, and don't worry it won't take long".

"What part of I don't have time for this don't you understand" she barked.

"Wow you seem really distressed over a boy you claim isn't real. You know now that I think about its quite shocking".

Peyton narrowed her eyes. "Don't throw that in my face NOT now" she hissed her voice dangerously low.

"Well it the truth and you know what that say about that don't you Peyton"?

"What do you want"?

"I want you stop wasting my time that's what I want"! She snapped her fingers after her nails were dry sending away the black polish. "And for God sakes stop pretending, I talked to you earlier but apparently didn't get through that thick skull of yours huh? Tell me what you did you do before Ian's accident"?

Peyton grimaced, remembering today earlier events. The plan had to been to try to get closer to her family but somewhere along the way she had taken many steps back. While making breakfast she pulled away when Lucas came up from behind her wrapping his arms around her waist. She put an abrupt stop to their flirty banter and quick kisses. It left more then a confused look on his face, a hurt one too. He left for his meeting soon after leaving her with the twins. They had instantly begged for her to draw with apparently they inherited her artistic skills. She gently brushed with a promise that they could draw together later and when they later on beg to do more things with her she did the same. What had she done? She was an awful wife and mother.

"You get now Peyton? I know you love them there's no doubt in my mind about that. But what's the point of being here if your not going to get close to them? Let Ian's accident be a wakeup call for you".

She bit her lip and slipped her hands in her pockets. "You knew this was going happen" she said more as a statement then a question as remembering what the guide had said earlier. "That's why you were being so cryptic".

"Even if had told you there was nothing you could have done to prevent this it would have just happened at a later time. Accept them accept this life because as of right now it's all very real and this is what you wanted. I won't be popping around for awhile but I'll help out where I'm needed hopeful you figure out that lesson before you go home, it's the key to you having a happy future".

Peyton nodded numbly.

"Also don't worry about Ian he's going just fine" she said smiling. "Man I getting soft" she whispered shaking her head as she touched Peyton's shoulder. "Wake up"!

All the people in the hospital came back into view and Peyton realized she was now sitting in a chair and Brooke was long gone probably off to update everyone on Ian's condition. Lucas stood there talking and holding her as he attempted to snap her out of trance. "He's going to be okay we just have to believe that". She nodded indicating she heard as stared into his currently red eyes. She reached over, hugging him. Her guide told her that Ian was going to okay and she was now more determined then ever to fix the mistakes she had made in the short time she had been here.

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A/N: Okay so Ian's going to be fine and now Peyton's over her conflict with being wary of this new world she's currently in. So for future chapter you can expect some Leyton moments with family moments too. Her guide won't be around for a couple chapters so she's on her on almost any way. 


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